//.I don''t know about my feelings.. @ Monday, June 4, 2012
Assalamualaikum . Hello there ! hmm dah lama tak update blog kan ? well tah la takde idea pulak , tapi sekarang tiba-2 je ada idea , mwehehee :P hmm i dont know sejak kebelakangan ni wana macam badmood and rasa down je . and i just dont know why . I hate this fucking feeling . bila ada perasaan macam ni , rasa macam nak marah org je , stress , pastu fikir macam-2 . macam ape je , ! nanti mula lah mencarut . eish geram betul .
Okay back to the topic , //.I dont know about my feelings..yeah , i dont know my feelings , sama ada nak ,atau tak , ikhlas atau tak , suka atau tak , macam-2 lah . it mixed together . bila fikir balik , aku ni betul ke tak ? hmm,actually wana paling tak suka bila perasaan wana ni tak boleh nak decided yang mana paling tepat . entah lah , wana masih tak boleh lepas kan D , tapi..wana kena jugak . kadang-2 wana tak fikir pasal D , kadang-2 wana fikir pasal N kadang fikir pasal D . I was like..wth ? decide lah betul-2 wana . -sigh-
I''m trying to get out from D's world . Tapi terlalu banyak kenangan wana ngan dia . there's too much of them . Nak sangat-2 lupakan . Tapi tak boleh . semalam baru je wana mimpi pasal D . mana-2 wana pegi mesti ada bayangan dia . lagi-2 pergi alamanda . masa pergi famous amos lagi lah . and I still remember you bought me a slice of cake from secret recipe . :'( i miss that moment , seriously I do . I just want to go back to the time when we were so happy together . and and , aritukan ,wana dapat tahu , the reason he left me .
And perit betul bila wana dapat tahu dia ckp kat kawan wana 'aku dengan wana dulu silap tu' . I was like...why? Why ? didn't you already know from the start ? I suffered for 6 months because of you . And the little pieces is still with me . Wana tak boleh nak benci dia , wana tak boleh nak lupakan dia . I dont know wether I still love him . or I already love N , its this mixing feeling . Blaaaa lahh D , Bla laa kau dari hidup ku , everyday I think of you , YES EVERYDAY YOU Idiot Guy ! Every single day , wana fikir pasal kenangan wana dengan dia . Yes every single day ! It keeps haunting in my mind .
And wana still ingat masa first time wana jumpa dia , I was wearing baju purple , and you was wearing baju melayu coklat , ~ aah , mmg nervous gila laah nak jumpa . Dah la jumpa kat rumah dia -,- nsib baik wana kenal kakak dia . hmm I still remember when his sister said 'D , tgk siapa datang ~ ni la D punya..... kawan' . oh god malunyaa tyme tu . but still , its a sweet moment . haha , man I love those times . REALLY ! and masa first time tu jugak jumpa mak and ayah dia . haha :3
I was seriously in love with you , igt lagi...time tu pergi taman p15 dengan dia . bawak iki skali , haha time tu dia selesema , asyik bersin macam budak kecik aje ;P and boleh pulak terlupa nak beli ubat dia -,- ish , and time tu jugak .. first time pergi dengan orang yang wana suka..it left so much memories..masih segar dalam igtan wana . macam mana wana nak suka dekat org lain ? sedangkan wana pun tak boleh nak lupakan kenangan wana ngan dia . benda yang dah lama macam ni pun , masih tak boleh nak lupakan . I miss when the moment when he smiles at me...</3
Wana igt lgi , first time jugak dia belanja wana , and first time jugak kita keluar sama-2 . seriously , benda tuu..-sigh- .. entalha .. mmg sakit sgt bila igt balik . masa tu kita keluar sebab nak beli barang dia , utk pengawas sekolah dia . then , masa tu jugak terserempak dengan kawan wana , ayien -,- nsib baik la dia tak kenal D :P and then , masa nak balik tu, pergi secret recipe , wana nak beli cake tu sebab dah lama tak makan , pastu dia tlg belikan utk wana . bila dh belikan wana nak bayarkan balik , pastu dia cakap , nantilah bayar . and i said ''tak nak bayar kat abg :P'' and then tiba-2 je wana boleh lupa nak bayar balik , malam tu chat ngan dia , dia cakap ''makan kek tak ajak org , patu tak bayar balik pulak tu'' then wana cakap ''dh bayar laaa'' mula pergaduhan manja . #lol eww . haha then baru sedar yang wana tak bayar pun duit dia ~ then dia cakap takpe , dia mmg nak belanja . start dari situ wana tahu , awww dia romantik ! HAHA !
I still remember , pergi tgk wayang sama-2 , and balik rumah sampai pukul 8 -,- masa tu 23/10/2011 . and we watched cerita Real Steel . Hall 2 , pukul 3.15 petang . wow , aku igt wahahahaha , and that was my favourite days on my life , fvourite history of my life . hmm , dia belanja wana popcorn , awwe , and masa dh masuk panggung wayang tu , dia tiba-2 bagi lolipop kat wana .#it sounds like benda simple but you know , i love lollipop . thats why haha . Allah , terlalu banyaklah kenangan wana dengan dia ! Nak cerita lebih-2 nanti .. takut nangis pulak . huu ~~
And seriously , wana asyikk baca je balik conversation yang kita penah chat dulu , kalaulah message dalam phone tu wana tak delete..hm, memang menangis lah wana . I dont know when will it stop . Dah 6 bulan tau takkk , 6 bulan ! nak masuk 7 bulan dah macam ni . Why do I need to suffer because of him ? sedangkan ada lagi org yg baik , and setia dekat wana , why am i so blind !? why cant i see it !? kenapa wana sayang sgt kat D !? Its really pain ! semua benda yang wana buat ialah first time dengan dia ! yes first time , thats why i kept the memories preciously .
I do really like N , dia mmg baik , and he cares for me , more than D do , but idk , wana tatau apa yang buat wana tak leh suka kat dia betul-2 . i mean 100% . and sometimes he reminds me of...myself when I was still with D . and I kept wondering , will I be like D ? Will I left N like D did to me ? and , because of this , wana dapat rasakan macam mana D rasa , masa ex dia buat kat dia . tapi , kenapa wana rasa macam dia nak wana rasa apa yang dia rasa ? I did nothing to him...kenapa wana ? why did he say that I''m same with his ex ? why ? i just dont get it ;( what did i actually do ?i''m not like one of your exs ! you're wrong ! but , because of him.., I know what is the meaning of first love , loyalty , patience , many things .
So at the positives way , wana berubah sebab dia and i''ve learned many things from him . I thanked him for everything . And I never blame Allah for giving me a problem like this , instead I thank Allah :) thank you Allah . I think thats All , malas nak jiwang-2 dah , byee :P assalamualaikum
I''m trying to get out from D's world . Tapi terlalu banyak kenangan wana ngan dia . there's too much of them . Nak sangat-2 lupakan . Tapi tak boleh . semalam baru je wana mimpi pasal D . mana-2 wana pegi mesti ada bayangan dia . lagi-2 pergi alamanda . masa pergi famous amos lagi lah . and I still remember you bought me a slice of cake from secret recipe . :'( i miss that moment , seriously I do . I just want to go back to the time when we were so happy together . and and , aritukan ,wana dapat tahu , the reason he left me .
And perit betul bila wana dapat tahu dia ckp kat kawan wana 'aku dengan wana dulu silap tu' . I was like...why? Why ? didn't you already know from the start ? I suffered for 6 months because of you . And the little pieces is still with me . Wana tak boleh nak benci dia , wana tak boleh nak lupakan dia . I dont know wether I still love him . or I already love N , its this mixing feeling . Blaaaa lahh D , Bla laa kau dari hidup ku , everyday I think of you , YES EVERYDAY YOU Idiot Guy ! Every single day , wana fikir pasal kenangan wana dengan dia . Yes every single day ! It keeps haunting in my mind .
And wana still ingat masa first time wana jumpa dia , I was wearing baju purple , and you was wearing baju melayu coklat , ~ aah , mmg nervous gila laah nak jumpa . Dah la jumpa kat rumah dia -,- nsib baik wana kenal kakak dia . hmm I still remember when his sister said 'D , tgk siapa datang ~ ni la D punya..... kawan' . oh god malunyaa tyme tu . but still , its a sweet moment . haha , man I love those times . REALLY ! and masa first time tu jugak jumpa mak and ayah dia . haha :3
I was seriously in love with you , igt lagi...time tu pergi taman p15 dengan dia . bawak iki skali , haha time tu dia selesema , asyik bersin macam budak kecik aje ;P and boleh pulak terlupa nak beli ubat dia -,- ish , and time tu jugak .. first time pergi dengan orang yang wana suka..it left so much memories..masih segar dalam igtan wana . macam mana wana nak suka dekat org lain ? sedangkan wana pun tak boleh nak lupakan kenangan wana ngan dia . benda yang dah lama macam ni pun , masih tak boleh nak lupakan . I miss when the moment when he smiles at me...</3
Wana igt lgi , first time jugak dia belanja wana , and first time jugak kita keluar sama-2 . seriously , benda tuu..-sigh- .. entalha .. mmg sakit sgt bila igt balik . masa tu kita keluar sebab nak beli barang dia , utk pengawas sekolah dia . then , masa tu jugak terserempak dengan kawan wana , ayien -,- nsib baik la dia tak kenal D :P and then , masa nak balik tu, pergi secret recipe , wana nak beli cake tu sebab dah lama tak makan , pastu dia tlg belikan utk wana . bila dh belikan wana nak bayarkan balik , pastu dia cakap , nantilah bayar . and i said ''tak nak bayar kat abg :P'' and then tiba-2 je wana boleh lupa nak bayar balik , malam tu chat ngan dia , dia cakap ''makan kek tak ajak org , patu tak bayar balik pulak tu'' then wana cakap ''dh bayar laaa'' mula pergaduhan manja . #lol eww . haha then baru sedar yang wana tak bayar pun duit dia ~ then dia cakap takpe , dia mmg nak belanja . start dari situ wana tahu , awww dia romantik ! HAHA !
I still remember , pergi tgk wayang sama-2 , and balik rumah sampai pukul 8 -,- masa tu 23/10/2011 . and we watched cerita Real Steel . Hall 2 , pukul 3.15 petang . wow , aku igt wahahahaha , and that was my favourite days on my life , fvourite history of my life . hmm , dia belanja wana popcorn , awwe , and masa dh masuk panggung wayang tu , dia tiba-2 bagi lolipop kat wana .#it sounds like benda simple but you know , i love lollipop . thats why haha . Allah , terlalu banyaklah kenangan wana dengan dia ! Nak cerita lebih-2 nanti .. takut nangis pulak . huu ~~
And seriously , wana asyikk baca je balik conversation yang kita penah chat dulu , kalaulah message dalam phone tu wana tak delete..hm, memang menangis lah wana . I dont know when will it stop . Dah 6 bulan tau takkk , 6 bulan ! nak masuk 7 bulan dah macam ni . Why do I need to suffer because of him ? sedangkan ada lagi org yg baik , and setia dekat wana , why am i so blind !? why cant i see it !? kenapa wana sayang sgt kat D !? Its really pain ! semua benda yang wana buat ialah first time dengan dia ! yes first time , thats why i kept the memories preciously .
I do really like N , dia mmg baik , and he cares for me , more than D do , but idk , wana tatau apa yang buat wana tak leh suka kat dia betul-2 . i mean 100% . and sometimes he reminds me of...myself when I was still with D . and I kept wondering , will I be like D ? Will I left N like D did to me ? and , because of this , wana dapat rasakan macam mana D rasa , masa ex dia buat kat dia . tapi , kenapa wana rasa macam dia nak wana rasa apa yang dia rasa ? I did nothing to him...kenapa wana ? why did he say that I''m same with his ex ? why ? i just dont get it ;( what did i actually do ?i''m not like one of your exs ! you're wrong ! but , because of him.., I know what is the meaning of first love , loyalty , patience , many things .
So at the positives way , wana berubah sebab dia and i''ve learned many things from him . I thanked him for everything . And I never blame Allah for giving me a problem like this , instead I thank Allah :) thank you Allah . I think thats All , malas nak jiwang-2 dah , byee :P assalamualaikum
